Attack Colfax:
Did the fine motion picture Red Dawn teach us nothing? One day someone is gonna parachute in here and take all that you hold dear. It is up to us, children, to make Mr. Swayze proud. I call upon you to choose your side. Are you with us or against us? Don the uniform and make sure that all the loonies on the 15 know you mean business. Scheme and schmooze amongst the troops, and let your presence be known. For we truly are the warriors!

What's wrong? Are you a lover and not a fighter? Well then, click here to DEFEND COLFAX.

How much is it?
$28.00 plus tax where applicable. Domestic shipping and handling included. International orders add $6.00 for shipping and handling.

When can I expect it?
Realistically, 6 - 8 weeks time. Sooner if there is a good response. Domestic shipping is factored into this time estimate. But I have no idea how long international shipping will take.

Does it come in other colors?
Gimmie a break, hipster. Like you have any other colors in your closet anyway. Think of it this way: black is the night version of camouflage.

How do I get one?
Click Right Here and Order. Choose your size and add to cart. View your cart to check-out. We'll send you an e-mail when we ship.

But, aren't you encouraging gang/video game/clan/political/sexual division?
Yes, we are. Judging from your tone, it is easy to see that you are a dirty peace loving hippie. And we don't take kindly to dirty peace loving hippies. So I suggest that you take that crap and LEAVE NOW.

Does anybody actually give a shit?
No, not really.

I have another question...
Sigh, this better be about the shirts. Email questions to: michael [at]

  The Shirt:

Get you some!
Handmade right here, in the Rocky Mountains.
Screen printed red on black American Apparel tees.

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